The worst.

So I check my Facebook account and I find that I've received a message from a close friend, "Moxie", whose wedding I'd be in this summer. Basically, in the nicest way possible, she tells me that I've been a bad friend lately. I reschedule our plans constantly, I'm always running late, I'm not involved enough, etc. She goes on to ask me (in the nicest way possible, of course) if I am still interested in being in her wedding because I've been so aloof and detached lately. At first, I get defensive and pissed, and automatically try to formulate my scathing reply. Then I realize...

I AM A BAD FRIEND. I mean really, I'm kind of a dick. Honestly, I am. The only things I really make time for are work and Teddy. Anything else is really just kind of outside my comfort zone. Then I realize that only an hour earlier, one of my best friends called my cell phone, and I sent it straight to voicemail, just because I didn't feel like talking that much. What if she needed to talk? And I'm hanging up just because I don't want to? I'm so busy being selfish and self-serving that I can't answer the phone? Teddy has told me over and over that I need more girl-friends. It's not that I have an aversion to girls and only befriend guys. It's more of an aversion to having too many close friends. The more close friends you have, the more close friendships you have to maintain. I'm fine with having a lot of friends, and do, but they border the work you'd put into an aquaintance you see a few times a year, which is typically how I roll.

So ultimately, I end up sending Moxie an e-mail and I apologize. I also tell her that I won't be in her wedding because I don't want to risk upsetting her anymore. While I'll admit I was relieved, I also felt extremely disappointed in myself.

I've really gotta work on this.

Since I'm just laying here...

let me tell you about what I'm experiencing.


Ok, wait.

Before I go any further, let me preface this story by telling you how much I love my neighborhood. I love it so much that when I move out of my current apartment(at which I've been living for three years) I am moving a mere two and half blocks down the same street. The people are friendly, the shops are unique. I love it so much that when I go for walks, I imagine which of the old houses I'll buy someday. That's how much, folks.


Now, the meat of the story here. The weather in Madison has improved vastly and we've finally reached 70 degrees. What comes with that? Not just summerwear and shades, kids. Not only BBQ cookouts. Not volleyball in the park or kids gettin' their tan on in the park.

Bongos. You fucking heard me. Bongos, people, along with the perpetual Bob Marley soundtrack. So the neighbor kids on both sides of my house are rocking their respective drum circles. I would typically be fine with this, if these kids knew how to play the fucking bongos. Sadly, this is not the case. Also, everything I could say about the Bob Marley music is illustrated perfectly in this Onion article: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41242

I cut my own bangs.

They look awful.

Really, there shouldn't have been any need to write that. But just in case there are any of you out there who haven't seen home-cut bangs trimmed with hospital bandage scissors, yep, there ya go.

I need to post a picture of this. That's how bad it is. I swear, I'll take a picture and post it tomorrow. Or the next day.

I was in Green Bay last Friday and I used it to have a nice visit with Dad. So he and I are out at dinner and he tells me how nice my hair looks now that it's longer and I haven't cut it in a while. And I've got a few screws loose - it's as if Dad's compliment was more just a reminder that I had better fuck up my hair somehow. So we get home and I'm messing with my hair in the bathroom, and run downstairs to look for scissors. None anywhere. I ask Dad, and he tells me where some are. They're bandage scissors for God's sake. Does this deter me, though? Of course not. "What do you need scissors for honey?" he asks. "Nothing," I say.

Stupid Stupid Stupid.

If I could...

and had the means...


and the access...




I'd shoot Heidi Montag.




(for this)



Is this some fucking April Fool's joke?!