Sunday, September 25, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
MSN -> MKE
So this crazy thing happened three weeks ago. I moved my belongings and my life to Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
"Were you sober, Stephie?"
"Did you make another bad, impulsive decision?"
"Are you running from the cops?"
These are all fair questions. God knows I'm not known for thinking things through and doing the right thing very often. However, I'm pretty certain this is one of the best decisions I've ever made for myself.
Don't get me wrong, I miss Madison terribly. Not a day goes by where I feel somewhat homesick. I don't know many people here. I've had to find employment on my own, without the reference of someone else in town. I've gotten lost, gone days without eating, and had panic attacks. Then I realized, I've done all those things in Madison at some point, too.
It's a funny thing, how convenience and familiarity can cause people to take the beaten path, to settle, to feel safe. It's a natural thing. I've never moved, really. Not since my father helped me move my things into my dorm room ten years ago. I stayed in Madison and fostered good and bad relationships. I've wasted years where I could have been productive. I've been lazy and self-destructive. I feel really terrible about it all.
These past few days, I've felt like I'm finally doing something good. I'm getting out of the house and exploring. I'm developing a good idea of how I should be living. I may not be making a ton of money, or have an entire community of familiar people around me. But it's making me a little tougher, and I think that's good.
It's about time.
"Were you sober, Stephie?"
"Did you make another bad, impulsive decision?"
"Are you running from the cops?"
These are all fair questions. God knows I'm not known for thinking things through and doing the right thing very often. However, I'm pretty certain this is one of the best decisions I've ever made for myself.
Don't get me wrong, I miss Madison terribly. Not a day goes by where I feel somewhat homesick. I don't know many people here. I've had to find employment on my own, without the reference of someone else in town. I've gotten lost, gone days without eating, and had panic attacks. Then I realized, I've done all those things in Madison at some point, too.
It's a funny thing, how convenience and familiarity can cause people to take the beaten path, to settle, to feel safe. It's a natural thing. I've never moved, really. Not since my father helped me move my things into my dorm room ten years ago. I stayed in Madison and fostered good and bad relationships. I've wasted years where I could have been productive. I've been lazy and self-destructive. I feel really terrible about it all.
These past few days, I've felt like I'm finally doing something good. I'm getting out of the house and exploring. I'm developing a good idea of how I should be living. I may not be making a ton of money, or have an entire community of familiar people around me. But it's making me a little tougher, and I think that's good.
It's about time.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
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