Now you before you shriek "EWW! GROSS!" . . . stop.
I am a fucking anomaly.
In all honesty, you should be delivering tropical fruit baskets and bestowing coconut milk offerings while fanning me with palm leaves.
No, it's not that I had my period for for 42 days, you gross perv. I didn't get my period for 42 days. On day 38 I started crying and lost my shit. I had full knowledge of the fact that I am not pregnant. Day 39 I even took a test and was backed up on this. There are just certain cycles in the world that just shouldn't be fucked with. There's the lunar cycle, the span of a week, the amount of time it takes to microwave a bag of popcorn. But the second Mother Nature tries to butt in on a woman's menstrual cycle when she is not pregnant, it's officially legal and socially acceptable to let heads roll (men might not know this). Hell, they almost did, by my water-retention-affected-so-my-rings-don't-fit hand. But I kept on keepin' on. You wanna know why?
Because I'm a professional woman*.
*A consummate professional who is slamming the door on that IUD shit and going back on the pill to regulate this physiological anarchy and make sure it never happens again.
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